Hn.

Ever have the urge to just go? To just pick up sticks and go vanish to somewhere. Have a whole new life where no one knows you. Abandon all your ID's online, your phone number, everything and just go start again somewhere else where no one knows you or can find you?

I unno, change your hair, buy new clothes, have a new home, new friends, abandon everything and start a new career path or life style and just be you away from everyone who knows 'you'.

Kinda seems nice. Escaping without a trace, but still existing. But then i guess that's just running away |D And I'd never want to be a coward. But everything is so easy to ignore, just push it away to the darkest corner of your heart or mind, where it stays forgotten for quite a long time. =^= Such is life...

What do i want to run away from you might wonder?

Love I guess.

I hate it. She's an ocean away, I cant have her to myself. She cant be celibate or whatever, and whilst i'm glad she at least tells me the truth instead of going behind my back. Still bloody hurts like fuck.

And I sorta dont see what you'd expect from me, telling me you met someone hot or whatever...or got laid...or something. On one hand i dont want to know, dont want to feel that hurt, or even give a fuck. I'd be quite happy to just run away, delete you from my life to preserve my self.

But then you'll hurt and cry etc cause you apparently love me, and fuck if i want that guilt on my shoulders.

Amazing how one sentence can just spoil the day. =^= *glances at valentines stuff to make on floor* ...... god damn.

Now i have to imagine you oggling over some hot girl in class forever. I should just quit.

I sent my heart across the sea and I guess I sent it to be juggled with. Stupid me.

(and wow boy have i notice my blog has turned into depression-ville ..... o-o this was never intended. But sometimes it's nice to have a place to rant where you're pretty sure none of your friends or family can see.... )